Good news for moms! You don't have to have that one big talk with your daughter. You know, the one that's supposed to cover everything from soup to nuts about being a girl/woman?
You actually ought to have MANY talks. Before you bolt from this post, hang on. More is actually a good thing. The more often you talk about growing up issues (from bras to birth control), the less you have to pack into one conversation. And, with a narrow focus, each little talk can touch only on the issues your daughter most needs to know about and is ready to discuss.
It's easier for you and her. The 11,000 girls who took our survey about puberty said they'd like their moms to parcel this info out, a bit at a time. Most of all, they don't want a simple desire to get a bra or have some pads handy to morph into a scary conversation about the dangers of sex and boys.
That's why Tip #7 is: Go slow.
So avoid the overwhelming BIG TALK and have these chats little by little through the months and years. (The earlier the better since younger girls were more open to talking with their moms, our survey found.)
It's great to have a mom who knows when to say when. One girl offered this praise for hers, “She answers all my questions and stops when I feel awkward.”
For more help, check out The Pink Locker Society, a resource for girls 8 and up.
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This is so true. My oldest daughter is 18 and the talks started when she was about 4/5 and are still going on. I don't have to say as much now unless there's something new she has a question about, but I still take the same approach. When I hear something I think she should know or I learn something new I bring it to her attention and be sure we've discussed it or that she remembers what I told her about it.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad my teen/young adult is a very open young lady. We've remained close through the years. I hope I can say that now that she's away at college. :)